Turning A Blind "I"
Christianity with OCD
E-Book (available as PDF files)
Despite advances in psychology and medicine, mental illness still carries a negative connotation among some groups. This includes some Christian communities, where mental illness is looked upon as taboo. Because of this, many Christians remain silent as they secretly battle such feelings as anxiety, depression, and compulsion. Sadly, this can mean not having their most important support system when needed.
Turning A Blind I is author Esther Jones’s story of how she battled obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), which was undiagnosed for many years. In the meantime, Jones’s life revolved around constant worry, fear, and compulsion, keeping her a prisoner in her own mind. Then one summer, God brought her down to the depths of mental anguish, as she struggled for sanity and peace with her salvation. Jones was so lost; all she could do was cry out to Jesus.
Jesus openly accepts all who will come to Him, and Christians should follow His example.
Turning A Blind I tells the story of how one person with OCD—a disease deserving the same respect, support, and compassion as any other illness—came to allow God to make her do His will and not her own. As a result, He brought her the spiritual gift of mercy, accompanied by a God-given testimony, to help other Christians realize that even mental illness is allowed by God, used by God, and those who live it are still made in His image.
If the title enticed you to pick up this book, consider it the Holy Spirit bringing discernment into your heart to grow stronger as a Christ follower. My testimony shares a painful, yet beautiful tale of how God chose me to share the truthful topic of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, also known as OCD. Before my “awakening,” I lived a comfortable, normal, ordinary life with very few challenging tests or trials as a Christian. Living life in the “fast lane,” I strived greatly for status, materials, and wealth to prove my place and purpose here on earth. My Christianity stood somewhere in the back of my already overflowing schedule with Jesus looking and mourning at my foolishness, selfishness, and pride. HE knew the exact moment when His will would overtake me in such a forceful, undeniable circumstance. I had no choice, no voice, no strength, no relief, and I felt as if I had no God. I truly believe that many other Christians are fighting this exact battle; unfortunately, due to society and its view on human weakness, these poor souls continue to suffer in silence with no direction or support. I pray that God’s words pierce your soul so deeply that you will no longer claim ignorance, disbelief, or denial of mental illness. Before you hear my story, I leave you with a profound verse…
“Whatever I tell you in the dark, speak in the light; and what you hear in the ear, preach on the mountaintops.”
Esther Jones is a student at the University of West Georgia, where she is working on her doctoral degree. She is also a full-time teacher of gifted, elementary-grade students in the Atlanta, Georgia, metropolitan area. She and her husband, Brian, are the parents of a daughter, Madison.
Perfect Bound Softcover