What do a pink van, ice cream, too many hats, and a speeding ticket have to do with our relationship with Christ? At first glance, one might think, Not much.

In Thank the Lord for Leroy, author Randy Ray walks us through his journey in life with some off-the-wall and amusing stories. These stories are sometimes insightful, often thought-provoking, but always humorous. He introduces us to things like an iron-stealing ferret, what it’s like to fall into an orchestra pit, and—very importantly—why donuts are so much better than bagels. Ray also describes what it is like when a math-avoiding parent meets that inevitable day when a child needs help with math homework.

 From experience, Randy tells what it is like to start a Christian band, sign a record deal, and embark on the craziness that comes with being on the road. He also takes a lighthearted and poignant look at Christian marriage and family. Through it all, his off-beat friend Leroy provides him with a “friend who sticks closer than a brother”—even if, at times, you wish he didn’t!

When I was growing up, my best buddy was Leroy Winegeart. He always used to say, “Never ask a man if he’s from Texas. If he is, he’ll tell you. If he’s not, you’ll just embarrass him.” So I won’t make you ask. I was raised in the cattle country on the plains of West Texas where it’s flat, brown and ... did I mention it was flat? You’ve gotta really draaaaaawwww out flat to get it right! It is so flat you can see the lights from the next town-which, by the way, most local teens will tell you is a much “cooler place.” There are no curves to the roads and no place to hide from your parents--which the local teens will also tell you. If the wind is blowing—and it always does—you can catch a whiff of the nearest feed yard. For you urban dwellers: a feed yard is a place where cows congregate, masticate, flatulate, and irritate—especially if your nose is within fifteen miles. The cows outnumber the horses, and almost everybody still owns a horse. If they don’t own a horse they, at the very least, own a Stetson cowboy hat. If you got tired of riding horses, you could ride motorcycles. If you got tired of that, you could ride around in your car. This was done on “The Drag,” a mile-long stretch of road where we caused the fuel shortage of the ‘70s. If you got tired of The Drag, there was only one thing left to do: go to church. My family attended the local Baptist church. It was the typical small-town Baptist church: pulpit in the middle, organ to the right, piano to the left, baptistry—complete with a cheesy painting of the River Jordan—directly behind the choir loft. It had green stained glass and bright red carpet, the colors of which, I’d bet, took a committee at least a month to decide. This little Baptist church is where my parents were married. It’s where I learned Bible verses, memorized the Ten Commandments, and sang in the youth choir. It was here I met my future wife. It was here that I accepted Christ. It was also where I sat through sermon after sermon, the topics of which ranged from learning how and when to “hold on” to making sure I knew how and when to “let go.” We went Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night…. If there was a revival or Vacation Bible School, we were there. If there was a committee meeting or stewardship banquet, we were there. If there was a wedding or a funeral, we were there! Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful to have been raised in a home and in a church that loved me. As a child, I was taught three things that have been instrumental in getting through life. They are: 1) Jesus loves you. 2) “Jesus Loves Me” (the song). 3) A church bulletin can be a blessing! (Especially during a boring sermon). Here are the 10 things I learned to do with a bulletin when I was so bored I went limp. #10 Turn it into a receptacle for used chewing gum. #9 Turn it in for a free soft drink at participating restaurants. #8 Write notes to your neighbor. #7 Tear it into little pieces and make a big mess. #6 Try origami. (Yeah, right!) #5 Color in all the O’s. #4 Play tic-tac-toe in the margins. #3 Irritate Mom with a crumpling sound. #2 Test your aerodynamic skills with a paper airplane. And... #1 Draw a beard, mustache, and a cool hairdo on the pastor’s picture (located on the back of most bulletins). A bulletin can be also used, if fanned properly and frantically enough, to create a breeze. I learned this from Sister Macy “Big Sis” Richardson. She was a frail little lady who tended to perspire like a woman twice her size. She always told me “a church bulletin was one of God’s kindest blessings, especially on those hot, summer days when the wind is blowing from the direction of the nearest feedlot!” Every Sunday you could see her sitting behind the pulpit with the rest of the choir, fanning away the noxious aroma. The odor never seemed to bother my buddy Leroy. One Sunday, Big Sis stopped him in the fellowship hall after the evening service and asked him about it. “Young man, I’ve noticed that the bovine stench doesn’t really trouble you like it does everyone else in the congregation. You must have desensitized your olfactory receptors.” “No ma’am,” Leroy said. “It’s just that I’ve kinda gotten used to it. It doesn’t stink near as bad as some of the choir specials lately.”

Randy Ray is the director of broadcast engineering at West Texas A&M University. He spent the nineties as a WORD recording artist. He has written for various newspapers and has had articles published in several magazines. He, his wife, and two children reside in Canyon, Texas.