After a lingering and chronic cold he contracted as a freshman in college more than forty years ago, author William Stephens vowed he would always carry a handkerchief, whether he actually needed one or not.  He also promised himself that if he ever wrote a book, as improbable as it seemed at the time, he knew then what the title would be. Years later, his unlikely book title took on special meaning, symbolizing his dependence on God in his battle against depression. Depression affects the body, mind, and spirit and is best treated using not only medical and psychological tools but spiritual ones as well. That’s what you’ll find in Life Is Hell without a Hankie.

Although many of us suffer from depression, we are often too proud or afraid to tell our friends, family members, and fellow churchgoers. We may fear dismissive attitudes or criticism from other Christians, some of whom seem to believe that if we simply have enough faith, we’ll get better.

Plagued with anxiety and adrift with no sense of purpose, Stephens chose to fight his depression from every angle. Many books address the medical and psychological aspects of depression. Others focus on it as a spiritual problem. Based on the premise that knowledge is power, Stephens takes an integrated approach to all three areas in honest, easy-to-understand language that takes the whole self into account. He also discusses the role “spiritual warfare” plays in depression, an often-neglected subject for Christians. Provoking questions and exercises will challenge you to grow and think, and Scripture passages provide inspiration.  Fighting depression takes work and commitment but the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel can indeed represent the hope of recovery rather than an oncoming train. Let your hope be renewed as you begin your journey toward the life God intended for you!

Dependence on Others

During the worst part of my depression I was often incapable of doing anything on my own. I had trouble making any decisions, no matter how simple, such as what to wear that day. I just wanted to get through the day, and the fewer decisions I had to make the better. Just survive until bedtime and then escape until the next day. When I was diagnosed with depression and finally accepted it for what it was, a disease, I realized that I could not get through the day, much less the process of recovery, on my own. I needed other people. Fortunately, for some unknown reason, I was not ashamed of my condition. Nor was I unwilling to share my condition with others. I found that it was quite therapeutic to do so. I say this after having later learned that many people going through depression, whether they realize it or not, are unwilling to let anybody else know about it. It is their little dark secret that other people cannot ever know.

Figuring I needed all the help I could get, I sought out that help from many sources. I came to depend on just about everyone. For example:

I depended on my friends for their love, support, encouragement, and prayers. The very fact that they were always there for me; asking how I was doing; sharing Bible verses that would be comforting, and praying with and for me was so very encouraging. I later realized how blessed I was to have so many friends who cared for and about me, something that I had never fully realized, or appreciated, or had simply taken for granted.

Just as lotions and fragrance give sensual delight, a sweet friendship refreshes the soul. (Proverbs 27:9 Message)

I depended on my wonderful wife, Brenda for so many, many, things. What I wore, what I ate, where we went, and even what we watched on TV, all became her decisions to make, and for me to appreciate. Every night after work, we’d spend whatever time was necessary to talk about my day, my depression, what was bad and what was good about it. After every therapy session she’d listen as I would relive the entire session, especially emphasizing what I had learned and could use to fight the disease. During such discussions, we would often identify something of value that I could share with my therapist at my next visit. Brenda got so used to my dependence upon her, that she actually enjoyed her new role. Never before had I been so submissive, so agreeable, so non-combative. It was every wife’s dream come true. After I had recovered quite a bit and had become somewhat my old self, Brenda used to kid (or at least I think she was kidding), that she kind of missed the “good old days” when I was so dependent; when she was able to choose what I wore each morning; and when I had no desire to control the remote. Times had been so much simpler for her in many ways.

I depended on my internist, Dr. Zamore, who first diagnosed me as suffering from depression and who first prescribed the antidepressant that I have been taking ever since. Even more he was a man who had compassion for what I was going through and assured me that I would feel better in due time. I depended on my visits with Dr. Zamore as a way of gaining assurance that the antidepressants were indeed working. I also came to consider him a friend, one that I could even call at any time if I needed his help.

I came to depend on another doctor as well. She was my psychologist, Dr. Martha Campbell, a wonderful lady, who also had compassion for her patients. During several months of therapy, she helped me to understand a lot about myself, the baggage I carried with me, and how this baggage was related to my depression. She helped me to identify my fears; how to face then head-on; and how to overcome them. She provided me with a toolkit for dealing with the problems that were immediate as well as those that were in the distant future. I came to depend on each and every visit as I learned the techniques for fighting this disease and as I received continuous verification that that I was indeed getting better and would soon be a much healthier and happier person.

Dependence on the Lord

The last person, but by far the most important person I came to depend on, was the Lord God Almighty, who for me is Jesus Christ. Up until that time He had been an important part of my life in both the here and the hereafter. He was my Savior, and I knew I had eternal life because of His grace and my faith in Him. But I did not really trust in Him enough to truly depend on him for both the big and little things in my life. It was amazing however how quickly I turned to Him for relief when I was so very low.

So many of us do not turn to the Lord until it is our last resort. Although I do not think that I ever considered God my last resort, I had never before truly come to depend on Him. It was only now that I realized that I would have to depend upon Him entirely in order to get me through this ordeal. And get me through it, He did indeed do. It was only because of Him that I found the strength and courage to get through each day. And it is because of this daily, hourly, and minute-by-minute dependence, that I can say today, that “while the depression was the worst thing that has ever happened to me, it was also one of the very best things that had ever happened to me.”